Many of us go through our entire lives reacting to the world and others in one
of three ways:
1. Denial - is the opposite of grabbing our own ears; it's the act of sticking our fingers in our ears, shutting our eyes, and going “Lalala Lalala.” It’s the decision to ignore something that may be very important. I had a close friend who ignored some serious health issues because she just didn’t want to know… her denial ended her life at 49 years old.
2. .Delusion - is the act of believing something that just is not factually accurate. My friend who passed away deluded herself into believing that the lower back pain was just a kidney infection without getting the proper tests.
3. Fixing - the instant need to categorize everything as good or bad, right or wrong, when we don’t have all the facts. It is our mind’s way of taking shortcuts and forcing everything we observe to fit into our current worldview. Fixing is also an attempt to control that we have no control over.
Fixing is also an attempt to control that we have no control over. Life can be lived and cannot be controlled.
This week, we will start working on a powerful process we call the L-steps. These steps can give us the tools to break these old habits that rob us of much of our time, attention, energy, and enjoyment.
LIFE CAN BE LIVED; IT CANNOT BE CONTROLLED!
I know. A big part of us wants to hold on to the hope that it can, but in the end, it just can’t.
In this week’s Mind Challenge, we will start working on a powerful process we call the Lifeonomics L-Step Process. This process can give us the tools to break these old habits that rob us of so much of our time, attention, energy, and enjoyment by focusing more on what we can control.
The Lifeonomics L-Step Process
Let It Be
Learn From It
Let It Go!
Now….
Before you get all judgy…
Acceptance does NOT mean we have to like it or approve of it!
For instance, bad things sometimes happen to good people. This is a fact. Living in denial or delusion regarding this fact only causes unnecessary suffering in the world.
Trying to “Fix” this fact by saying something like “they probably weren’t really good people” doesn’t help either! Yup… there’s that control thing again!
There’s always another choice.
It’s just to Let It Be what it is, nothing more, nothing less.
If it involves other people… wait for it…this may upset you….
Let Them Be!
I know… A long line of buts usually follows this:
But what if they are so, so annoying!
But what if they are really, really bad?!
But what if they think they are funny… but so, so are not?!
How about….
But what if they are…. (gasp)…TEENAGERS?!!!
Just do your best to Let Them Be who they are, nothing more, nothing less.
Even if right now you think they may be your karma for stuff you did to your kid brother growing up…
Let Them Be
I can tell you one thing for sure: they most certainly are.
They are another Perfectly Imperfect Human on their own journey, just like we all are. (And, yes, that includes in-laws AND teenagers.)
Trying to control others is futile and has ruined billions of potentially excellent relationships… maybe even one of yours. It’s a super waste of our time and energy.
So why not just Let Them Be?
Oh… I almost forgot
(There’s a cool true story in the video about my 10-year-old stepson and a poisonous snake that helps illustrate an example of Let It Be even during super challenging events, so be sure and watch it!)
This week’s challenge is to Let It Be - Face the Facts / Resist the Fix.
When someone does something that upsets you… Let It Be.
When your hair dryer blows up in the middle of getting ready for a big meeting… Let It Be. It’s just a hairdryer. Sometimes, they blow up. It’s probably not God or the Universe telling you not to go on to the meeting.
When something terrible happens in the world, and you see it on the news… Let It Be what it is…. a tragedy… resist the fix of judging the people involved without knowing all the facts.
Take sticky notes (yes, sticky notes, the little yellow pieces of actual paper we used back in the 90s) and write Let It Be on them. Stick them all over your house and workspace. This is even more fun when you live or work with other people because when they look at you crazy, you’ll have yet another chance to practice Let It Be!
In all things great or small…the first step toward true personal freedom is to…
Let It Be!
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